Monday, March 16, 2009

BROKE ENGLISH



Every time I see one of these advertisements around Paris (and there are lots), I think of a new pitch for them...

"Learn the language skills to destroy your own economy and possibly your entire country! Learn the word games you'll need to milk the most out of subprime mortgage backed securities and as a special bonus, you'll learn to create invisible money! In three easy steps! YES! I speak Wall Street English!"

Really.

I don't think anyone needs a class for this, it's pretty basic....

Give me your money.
Thank you.
Unregulate me.
Now go fuck yourself.
Give me my bonus.
It's not my fault.

Seriously.

4 comments:

expat said...

I hope they teach the Wall Street special jargon, "short" as a transitive verb -- meaning "to spread rumours about a company to the detriment of that company but for personal profit".

Adam said...

Forgetting the current situation (it's not the first time 'Wall Street' has negative connotations after all), what I have always found most offensive about this company is their attempt to 'privitise' a language.

And if they want to teach their students the language correctly, shouldn't it be "Yes I do!". Actually, the correct answer should be "No I don't, but I do speak a useless dialect called Wall Street English".

OMYWORD! said...

OH MY GOD, girl. You and I have to meet for coffee or something. You're a riot. AND...I think the same damn thing every time I see one of those signs.

Anonymous said...

After completing a soul crushing drive from Lyon to Dunkirk (for work) I wanted to kill myself but then I read your blog and laughed my ass off instead. "You buy house..." Oh man, so funny.