Monday, July 07, 2008


This was my first thought as we tried to carry my 6,000 pound super sized extra large keyboard up the 104 steps to our new apartment. SLAM! OW! OK, 4 more flights, 4 more flights. WHAM! AAAAAGH, ok keep going, keep going, you didn't need that part of your arm anyway. A bus would be easier to move than this thing. And I thought I was going to play SHOWS here with this beast of an instrument? There is simply no WAY. The keyboard is as tall as I am and as long as most of the Parisian taxis. I could just picture trying to catch a cab with this. And to top it off, I also have my 600 pound accordion, an amp, keyboard stand, mic stand, CDs, etc. etc. Why oh WHY did I decide not to play the guitar instead...or the piccolo?

Cue: more panic. I have a show and no gear.

I guess I should have thought about my gear situation more before booking my first gig but this morning I quickly realized I had to go find a smaller keyboard to bring to the show on Sunday. Either that or transfer all my songs onto the pan flute. So off I went to Total Music in the 4th, my crap French in one hand and a huge list of gear I needed in the other. And magically, I found most everything. The staff there was SOOOOO nice to me and helpful, I Frenched it 100% the whole time, they taught me all the words for the music gear and they even called a cab for me to carry it all home. As I waited outside the store, the security guard came out and said to me..."Citroen Bleu."
I nervously handed him my store receipt and instinctively started digging in my bag for my passport and papers, thinking "Oh my god, he thought I stole it, oh my god, oh my god, there's a problem with my card, oh my god, I'm going to French jail, oh my god, oh my god...." I guess it was the uniform. He looked at me puzzled and said again...
SG: "Citroen Bleu." I stopped my digging.
ME: "Uhhhh, Citroen....limonade? Un bois?" (A drink?)
SG: "Hahaha, non. Le TAXI." (pointing to the road)
ME: "AH! Le taxi est jaune comme un citron!" (The taxi is yellow like a lemon!)
SG: "Hahahaha, non." (shaking his head)
ME: "Uh...c'est possible boire un limonade....uh...dans le taxi??"

As the guard cracked up again, a blue taxi pulled up to the curb and I saw the make of the car was Citroen. Ohhhhh. Now I get it! "Citroen Bleu!!! Je comprends!!! HIGH FIVE!" To my surprise, the guard actually returned my high five, helped me load all the gear into the taxi and off I went on my merry way with some cute new Parisian sized gear for my cute new Parisian gig.


Kelly said...

Why couldn't he just say "tu veux prends un taxi?"! Can you imagine some security guard being like "white Taurus"?! That city never ceases to baffle me.

KFD said...

They had called a cab for me and he was just telling me what the make of the cab would be. :)

kristen said...

way to go! great story. time to paris craigslist some of that shit! have fun at the show and if JB does not take photos i will cry. please send me one!


littleme said...

Haha. I once argued with a doorman to a bar for at least ten minutes that I had NOT just been on the Pont Neuf drinking a bottle of wine in public and being loud and belligerent. I was so earnest and afraid of getting in trouble that I couldn't see he was messing with me.

Love your blog!