BURN IT DOWN - DAY 22

Determined not to repeat my cinnamon/nutmeg/swiss cheese debacle of last week, tonight I chose the following recipe instead:

DELICIOUS PASTA SAUCE TAKE 2

1. Chop 1/4 onion and 1/2 garlic clove
2. Place oil in pan
3. Turn on stove top and exit kitchen
4. Go to bathroom
5. Check e-mail
6. Look out window
7. Smell something funny
8. Enter kitchen to see stove in flames, exclaim "OH SHIT!!! OH SHIT!!!"

Thankfully, FB caught me before I threw a bucket of water onto the stove. He extinguished the fire with a towel, asked me to open the window and to please leave the kitchen. Then he explained the concept of oil and water to the retard who is determined to burn the entire apartment down to the ground.

For the love of God, SOMEONE needs to teach me to cook better here.
Without any recipes, I have resorted to arson.